Mama Guilt

Every mom I know suffers from 'mama guilt' and I hate that we do this to ourselves. Lately mine goes something like this...

If I take advantage of a school day to run errands...I feel guilty that I didn't spend that time with Samuel. If I take the big boys out on a fun outing...I feel guilty that Peter is getting a bottle. If I strap the boys into the stroller to get some exercise...I feel guilty that I'm not playing with them instead. If I don't get around to making dinner...I feel guilty that they are eating healthy enough. If Peter is fighting a nap....I feel guilty that he's been in the swing too long. I could go on and on and on. It's RIDICULOUS! We went to the boys & girls club dinner recently and heard some amazing stories of what kids can overcome. One child had a dad in prison and a prostitute mom. OK...so I'm not doing so bad after all.

Today's guilt of choice was taking the big boys to the zoo. We had a wonderful morning. My only complaint is the ridiculous amount of liquids my children seem to require. Before we left the house (at 9:00 am) they had each consumed 2 sippy cups. Then downed another on the way to the zoo, had a juice box with their picnic, and Milam was begging for more on the way home. I lost count after that but it's a LOT. I am constantly filling those things up, and they freak out when they are empty....like they severely dehydrated.


Chubby the Third...

Looks like we're gonna have another chubster on our hands...I love it! Peter had his two month checkup (this on crept up on me...i was telling people he was 6 weeks) and weighs 13.5 pounds (88%) and is 24" long (82%). He's got a small peanut head at 30%. He reminds me so much of Milam as a baby. Sigh. I guess they can't all be as easy as Samuel. He has THE hardest time falling asleep. And staying asleep. You work your a*s off getting him to sleep and then 5, 10, 20 minutes later he's awake again and pissed off that he's awake. The pediatrician says this should all work itself out around 3 or 4 months....so much for my 6 week theory. He also HATES being messed with. Screams his head off every time you change a diaper, change his clothes, give him a bath, apply the lotion...he hates it all. I did get halfway through a bath the other day before he piped in, so that was progress. I'm thinking his 'don't mess with me' attitude might be a defense mechanism against his brothers. He will probably need it to survive. When he's not trying to fall asleep or being messed with he's an absolute doll....cooing and smiling a ton now. He's also a busy little thing. He can really get those legs and arms going. The days are sometimes hard, but I am taking it all in. I wouldn't trade life with these babies for something easier. I realize sooner than I would like, I'll wake up to find three grown boys in my house.


Peter's First Lake Trip

I was a big fat chicken about driving all the boys to the lake by myself, so I headed out with Milam and Peter Friday morning and Brian brought Samuel after work. It was a big weekend. My parent's had moved into their new house (across the street from our lake house) which was wonderful and sad at the same time. They still have the ranch and I secretly hope it doesn't sell for a long time. Brian's parents were also there working on their new house (30 mins away from our lake house) so they brought the boys great grannie and great papa out to meet Peter. Samuel woke up from his nap on Saturday with that unmistakeable croup cough. He was pretty pitiful and I am always terrified that we're going to end up in the ER if it goes untreated. So I called a family pediatrician friend and begged her to call in a steriod prescription. Seems more often than not someone is sick at the lake. I owe her big. The medicine did not agree with Samuel, who has quite a gag reflex, and he barfed every time we tried to give it to him. I tasted it and couldn't really blame him. Not the same stuff we've had in the past. About 10:00 that night Milam woke up with the same croup cough....uugh. Just as I was getting comfy on the porch with a glass of wine. He didn't seem to mind the medicine and they both got over the scary croup business pretty fast...now it's just the annoying lingering cold symptoms.

Papa and Peter

Papa, Nana and Peter

Grannie and Peter

Aunt Ashley and Peter

Caroline and Peter (look at his big smile!!)

Isabel and Peter

Sick baby dead asleep in dada's lap

Big kids about to pick strawberries at Sweet Berry Farms


Six & Six

It is really hard for me to believe that Brian and I got married SIX years ago. Today started off kinda like the one six years ago with a nice thunderstorm. No cold front though. Brrrr. We watched our wedding video with Milam. He loved seeing everyone on the TV. He was really concerned that he wasn't there and asked me over and over where he was saying "I must have been there somewhere". I had a very unexpected wave of sadness seeing our grandmothers on the video. We hadn't watched it in a few years and it was just really sad to me that they aren't here anymore. My mema looooooved Milam and was so proud that he was named after her husband. I miss being able to pick up the phone and call her. Hope I'm lucky enough to meet all my grandaughters some day. We're celebrating our anniversary tonight like true old geezers...a charity poker tournament! We made a promise to each other that we would take an anniversary vacation every year...and we have...even if it's delayed. I convinced Brian to wait a few months so he won't be vacationing with a zombie wife.

6 years later...heading to the DMA ball last weekend

The other six is that my baby is SIX weeks old. He's still having a hard time sleeping at night, but I keep telling myself things get easier after six weeks. I'm ready. We had several nights where he was waking up every hour. He's really starting to smile at us....soooo sweet. Last night he gave his dada some really big grins and I wish I had Brian's reaction on video...it was absolute daddy adoration and love. Makes me melt. Having such a wonderful husband to raise these boys with puts me at ease. Brian was so excited after Peter was born he went and bought himself a pickup truck to "haul the boys hunting in". Cracks me up. It will be a long time before Peter's ready for that, but I love that Brian is that excited.